How to Remember People’s Names without Name-Tags

1. Review the List of Names

My number one tip, if you can do this, and it’s not always possible, is review the list of names of the people coming in advance.

No, no, it’s not designed to remember them all. You probably can’t do that.

But just as a reference to actually become familiar and acquainted with some of the names, particularly those names that maybe have a different spelling or maybe not quite sure how you might say, allows you to be alert for that person when you meet them.

You see their name tag if there happens to be a name tag. You don’t need them though. But when they do introduce themselves or you ask for that person’s name, you’ll hear it and there’ll be a little connection to the fact, oh yes, I remember seeing your name on the list.

3. Ask for People’s Names

My third strategy is to ask for people’s names. And that means perhaps you’ve only got 10 names in the whole group that you’ve captured at some point, some way throughout the course of your program.

And then someone makes a contribution, raises their hand. I will always, even if they’ve started talking, say, oh, just for a moment, could you remind me of your name? And that’s such a critical way to say it.

You could certainly say, hey, I’m sorry, don’t know your name yet. Or I’ve forgotten your name. Let’s say everyone has already known that person’s name. To remind me or remind us of your name is just a really sensitive way of asking that person to give us the name again.

And there’s a couple of things that are going on there. One, certainly it helps me. I’m adding to my repertoire of names that are helping me connect with more people in my group, but it’s also helping everyone else in the room.

Everyone else who’s going, oh, I don’t know that person’s name either, but now I do. You’ve just reminded me as well. So that’s a really useful strategy.

Always ask for someone’s name and do it frequently to benefit you, but also benefit everyone else in your group.

5. Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes

My fifth strategy is allow yourself to make mistakes. Yes, you are human. Even as a group facilitator, we have this persona of, we have this extraordinary ability to remember names, but we’re just like everybody else.

You may have some good strategies, which is the focus of this video. However, make mistakes. You know, call on those people.

You may not know their name, but you might give it a go. Oh, Susan. And they go, no, no, it’s Christine.

Oh, I’m so sorry. Now, in that interaction, it might be that where I got it wrong or if I can’t remember that person’s name, if I don’t want to make a mistake, I might simply say, oh, could you please remind me of your name? Allow yourself to make the mistake. It’s clear to everybody in the room that you’ve already known that person.

You’ve already referred to them half an hour earlier, but now it’s slipped your mind. It’s okay then to say, hey, can you please remind me? So make a mistake. That also shows a few things.

One, it’s okay to make mistakes. During the course of today, particularly if you’re doing anything related to experiential education, mistakes are the platforms for success. And so, okay, I get it wrong twice, three times, hopefully by the fourth time I’ve nailed that name.

And that’s clearly a really important metaphor for most of the education that you’re probably working with in facilitating your groups as well. So allow yourself to make mistakes, which means of course, everyone else is also entitled to make a mistake.

And I often mention this to groups is that if at any point during the course of our program, this conference, this seminar, this meeting, and you can’t remember someone’s name, what do you think you could do? And I’ll ask the group, what do you think you could do? And I’ll have all these elaborate strategies, but often the simplest one finally will come out – you could just ask them.

Absolutely. Because that exchange says you care enough to want to know the name, not that you’re dumb and forgot it. So reframing that interaction is really, really important.

Bonus: Name Remembering Strategy

Okay. Here’s one more strategy that I found really, really successful. It’s probably only going to work with young people, probably not as appropriate for adults, but be sure that it’s sensitive for the young people you’re working with as well.

Remember I had those 250 kids I needed to learn the names of within a week. Okay. So this was one of the strategies, one of my favourites for a kid that perhaps I’m still capturing the name of.

And I say, “Hey, how’s it going? You having a good day today?” You know, find some level of connection. We come closer. And then I say, hang on a second, is that your t-shirt or is that you’re jacket or whatever it is?

And I’ll look at the back and have a look at the name tag on it. And of course, pick up the name of the person who was wearing the t-shirt and go, oh yeah, Jimmy, of course it’s your t-shirt. And then they’ll go, wow, they know my name.

The kids haven’t worked out or locked into that little strategy. So that’s been a sneaky little way and you might find your own little sneaky way. So here’s my challenge to you.

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So just punch in “Name games.” You’ll find it as a particular attribute within the database. And then add those to your repertoire of specific dedicated activities.

But keep in mind, as I mentioned earlier in the video, any forms of interaction, particularly when they’re non-threatening and highly interactive and fun, provide ample opportunities to pick up names as they go throughout your program.