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Leadership Tips 27 Aug 24 0 Comments

How to Remember People’s Names without Name-Tags

By
Experiential Trainer, Author & Speaker

Do you sometimes get stuck remembering people’s names?

Or, have you ever uttered the words “I’m not good with names?”

Or, have you ever met someone new, asked for their name and then three seconds later, completely forgot it.

If you can answer Yes to any of these questions, this video is for you.

I will share a bunch of quick and easy strategies for remembering people’s names (without using name tags) that will make you look good and help the people you are mixing with feel included, noticed and valued.

In this Post…

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I Wish I Could Remember Names

How good does it feel when you go to an event, whether it’s a large event or a small event, and someone comes up to you and uses your name, ie they remember your name?

It always feels so good. Every one of us loves it when someone uses our name. It helps us feel included, valued and heard.

I’m going to share with you my favourite strategies I use to help me remember other people’s names when I’m working with a group, all of them without name tags.

Let me share two scenarios with you.

Scenario 1 – it’s that group setting where you look around and you know that person over there, but you can’t remember their name. And ordinarily, that means you’ll just make a beeline to someone else that you can remember the name of.

Scenario 2 – or, maybe in that same setting, someone approaches you and says, “Hi Mark, it’s great to see you…” They use your name, which makes you feel pretty good, but also awkward at the same time because… you can’t remember their name.

If you work as a group facilitator, I’m sure that these scenarios are really familiar to you.

There is almost this expectation that as we are responsible for the well-being of our groups, that we’ll remember everyone’s names and we want to.

But wishing and hoping is not actually a really good strategy.

Despite appearances, I don’t actually have any further superpowers than anyone else in order to remember names. I just simply have some good strategies in place to help me remember names.

Here’s a great example…

How I Remembered 300+ Names in a Week

I worked at a very large summer camp in the United States for eight summers, and I was one of five people who looked after the entire campus, 800 children and around 380 staff. So, in effect, a little town that gathered together over the course of the summer.

And I was responsible for about 250 boys and roughly 50 staff as part of that overall camp. The kids were there for at least four weeks, sometimes six or up to eight. My objective was in the very first week, I would know every kid’s name and all of my staff’s names as well.

That’s a pretty big undertaking, over 300 names.

These are the six strategies I used to help me remember all of these names…

Colourful name tags to help how to remember names

1. Review the List of Names

My number one tip, if you can do this, and it’s not always possible, is review the list of names of the people coming in advance.

No, no, it’s not designed to remember them all. You probably can’t do that.

But just as a reference to actually become familiar and acquainted with some of the names, particularly those names that maybe have a different spelling or maybe not quite sure how you might say, allows you to be alert for that person when you meet them.

You see their name tag if there happens to be a name tag. You don’t need them though. But when they do introduce themselves or you ask for that person’s name, you’ll hear it and there’ll be a little connection to the fact, oh yes, I remember seeing your name on the list.

Woman greeting with a handshake

2. Greet Each Person by Name

My second tip is, if you can, greet every person as they arrive or you arrive. Often I’m there very early, often involved in what I refer to as my unofficial start to engage people productively as they arrive.

And I’ve got the opportunity as the group is really busy with that to go up and greet one or more people coming in and say, “Hi, my name is Mark. What is yours?” Now that’s not enough for me to remember it for the rest of the day, but it does provide a little bit of a warm welcome, and I’m actually acknowledging that person that they’ve come. I’ve got a smile.

Everything about my appearance is saying, hey, it’s really good to meet you. And I’ve got an opportunity to remember their name. So, let’s say you’ve only got 30 people or there’s 100 people, but you only managed to do it with say 10.

They are 10 names you have now in store that will help you look good in front of the group, but also make a connection with a small portion of your group.

Name tags to help remember names. Photo credit: Jon Tyson

3. Ask for People’s Names

My third strategy is to ask for people’s names. And that means perhaps you’ve only got 10 names in the whole group that you’ve captured at some point, some way throughout the course of your program.

And then someone makes a contribution, raises their hand. I will always, even if they’ve started talking, say, oh, just for a moment, could you remind me of your name? And that’s such a critical way to say it.

You could certainly say, hey, I’m sorry, don’t know your name yet. Or I’ve forgotten your name. Let’s say everyone has already known that person’s name. To remind me or remind us of your name is just a really sensitive way of asking that person to give us the name again.

And there’s a couple of things that are going on there. One, certainly it helps me. I’m adding to my repertoire of names that are helping me connect with more people in my group, but it’s also helping everyone else in the room.

Everyone else who’s going, oh, I don’t know that person’s name either, but now I do. You’ve just reminded me as well. So that’s a really useful strategy.

Always ask for someone’s name and do it frequently to benefit you, but also benefit everyone else in your group.

Sticky notes with names on them

4. Use Name Games

Name games, dedicated name games, those activities you might call energizers or icebreakers that focus on people’s names. They’re definitely useful.

However, when I look back over all of my programs, particularly for the last 10, 15, 20 years, there is almost an absence of dedicated name games where in my first five or 10 years, they were always there.

And here’s what I’ve noticed. And so have other people. We’ll get to the end of the day, particularly in a training context, and people will say, “Hey, Mark, I noticed that we didn’t do any name games.”

And they see that as something that’s absent from a program that they’re doing where maybe it’s the very first thing that they do is do a name tag. So of course, then I don’t actually have any dedicated name activities, and it sort of really jumps out at them. There’s nothing wrong with dedicated name games.

But if you are inviting your group in lots of interaction and sharing, then there’s ample opportunities for the group to capture names as they go along. I will often say it like, Okay, over the course of the next half hour, you’re going to have ample opportunities to interact with lots of small and large groups. Here’s your challenge if you want to play for bonus points…”

I’ll continue “… If you want to play for bonus points, capture as many names of the people you’re interacting with as is possible. There’s no test. No one’s ever going to ask you. But if you want to challenge yourself, see how many names you’ll capture over the course of the next 30 or so minutes…”

And that honestly is as useful as any dedicated name game that I know. They’re great to play, but don’t rely on them as a crutch.

Otherwise, you might as well just put name tags on because it’s about the same thing. It’s like if you think this is the only way you can learn names, lots of ways of doing it. Here’s a little secret.

Teenage girl forgetting something

5. Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes

My fifth strategy is allow yourself to make mistakes. Yes, you are human. Even as a group facilitator, we have this persona of, we have this extraordinary ability to remember names, but we’re just like everybody else.

You may have some good strategies, which is the focus of this video. However, make mistakes. You know, call on those people.

You may not know their name, but you might give it a go. Oh, Susan. And they go, no, no, it’s Christine.

Oh, I’m so sorry. Now, in that interaction, it might be that where I got it wrong or if I can’t remember that person’s name, if I don’t want to make a mistake, I might simply say, oh, could you please remind me of your name? Allow yourself to make the mistake. It’s clear to everybody in the room that you’ve already known that person.

You’ve already referred to them half an hour earlier, but now it’s slipped your mind. It’s okay then to say, hey, can you please remind me? So make a mistake. That also shows a few things.

One, it’s okay to make mistakes. During the course of today, particularly if you’re doing anything related to experiential education, mistakes are the platforms for success. And so, okay, I get it wrong twice, three times, hopefully by the fourth time I’ve nailed that name.

And that’s clearly a really important metaphor for most of the education that you’re probably working with in facilitating your groups as well. So allow yourself to make mistakes, which means of course, everyone else is also entitled to make a mistake.

And I often mention this to groups is that if at any point during the course of our program, this conference, this seminar, this meeting, and you can’t remember someone’s name, what do you think you could do? And I’ll ask the group, what do you think you could do? And I’ll have all these elaborate strategies, but often the simplest one finally will come out – you could just ask them.

Absolutely. Because that exchange says you care enough to want to know the name, not that you’re dumb and forgot it. So reframing that interaction is really, really important.

Group sitting in circle discussing something

6. Listen to Your Group Interacting

Our final strategy is to listen to your group interacting. Like while they’re busy, they’re busy talking or they’re busy doing something, wandering around as a good facilitator would be doing and listening to the conversation.

Now that’s probably important for the purpose of your program anyway, but listen for when names are used, particularly among those people you don’t know the name of yet.

And this is the part that I love is that then later on, perhaps as we’ve gathered as a larger group, I’ll call on someone by their name and they’ll often look a little bit surprised because they go, hang on, how do they know my name? I love that part. It says that it’s important to me because it’s important to them.

Look for the helpers, man and woman doing high-five. Credit rawpixel

Bonus: Name Remembering Strategy

Okay. Here’s one more strategy that I found really, really successful. It’s probably only going to work with young people, probably not as appropriate for adults, but be sure that it’s sensitive for the young people you’re working with as well.

Remember I had those 250 kids I needed to learn the names of within a week. Okay. So this was one of the strategies, one of my favourites for a kid that perhaps I’m still capturing the name of.

And I say, “Hey, how’s it going? You having a good day today?” You know, find some level of connection. We come closer. And then I say, hang on a second, is that your t-shirt or is that you’re jacket or whatever it is?

And I’ll look at the back and have a look at the name tag on it. And of course, pick up the name of the person who was wearing the t-shirt and go, oh yeah, Jimmy, of course it’s your t-shirt. And then they’ll go, wow, they know my name.

The kids haven’t worked out or locked into that little strategy. So that’s been a sneaky little way and you might find your own little sneaky way. So here’s my challenge to you.

How Do YOU Remember Names?

What are you doing right now that is helping you remember names without name tags?

Because here’s what I found. When you’ve got a name tag on, we tend not to think very hard about remembering them. But the problem is that person takes their jacket off, the name tag goes with them or the stickiness, you know, diminishes over time and it falls away anyway.

Or maybe they just don’t want to wear it. I know some of the fancier shirts or suits that I have. There’s no way I’m pinning that name tag on that very expensive garment.

So there are lots of reasons why name tags don’t work. And most of it’s because we use it as a crutch.

So tell me, what are some of the ways that you’d use to help you remember names? Whether you’re with a group for a short or a long time, I would love to hear. And my promise to you is I will always respond.

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So just punch in “Name games.” You’ll find it as a particular attribute within the database. And then add those to your repertoire of specific dedicated activities.

But keep in mind, as I mentioned earlier in the video, any forms of interaction, particularly when they’re non-threatening and highly interactive and fun, provide ample opportunities to pick up names as they go throughout your program.

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Original post August 2024, last updated September 2024.

By - Experiential Trainer, Author & Speaker

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Free eBook:
Top Ten Icebreakers & Group Games

Download our free 28-page ebook jam-packed with outrageously fun activity ideas.

Just one more question:

I am interested in…

Free eBook Optin (updated)