10 Fun, Non-Threatening Ice-breaker Questions (4 words or less)

Four words. That’s all you need to break the ice.

I’m going to share what those four words are and my 10 favourite four-word icebreaker questions that have never failed me.

And best of all, these four words are going to make you smile.

The Icebreaker Question That Stopped Me

Take a look at the t-shirt I’m wearing in the above video thumbnail.

Did you win?

How cool is this?

Some weeks ago, I was death-scrolling through LinkedIn and I got stopped by seeing this group of very beautiful-looking people wearing a t-shirt just like this, in various colours.

But it wasn’t the fact that they were beautiful and they’re wearing, you know, really interesting coloured t-shirts. It was the fact that there were just four words on their t-shorts that caused me to stop. Who smiles first wins.

So I’m wondering when you saw it, what was your reaction?

It caused me to not only smile, but also think about the impact of what we can do to introduce low-risk forms of interaction when we’re inviting people to break the ice, to invite them to get to know one another. And I think there’s some real magic embedded into these four words.

I want to share with you a list of 10 fantastic questions that come with no more than four words that will help a group break the ice.

But importantly, I also want to share with you what makes an icebreaker an icebreaker.

Just imagine for a moment if you were at a gathering and everyone had a t-shirt like this, what would be possible? But imagine again, if maybe no one was wearing a t-shirt, just regular clothing, what would you do that could invite levels of low-risk interaction to help them get to know each other that would, without even having to say anything, maybe just broaden a smile to create a connection with someone you don’t know at all.

This is what I’ve got in store for you.

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Icebreaker Questions in Four Words or Less

Okay, let’s have a look at these four-word icebreaker questions. They are economical and you don’t need to say or even remember much about them, but they’re packed with power.

1. What brings you joy?

It’s such a great question. What brings you joy? Look, I hope every person you ever ask that question has multiple answers to that question, but it might be what brings you joy or what brings you happiness. Again, choose the word that suits your particular group or your vernacular, but a wonderful way to start.

And it’s starting from a positive perspective as a way to break the ice.

2. What amazes you?

This question is actually three words, to be fair. What amazes you? Goodness, that could be anything from technology to the way that people interact to something that happened to you this morning or why something actually happened this morning.

All of those are options. And again, if you have crafted these carefully and you’ve had a sequence of activities that are non-threatening, people will respond with something they’re willing to share. They are never going to share something that that is going to threaten them in any particular way.

So maybe they are amazed at something that happened in the news this morning, but they might feel that’s a bit edgy. So they look for something else to share that actually answers the question.

3. What are you grateful for?

The last question had three words. This one has five. So on average, they’ve all got about four words. What are you grateful for? That is just worth pausing and thinking about.

And it’s a great place to start many meetings. I know I start with my family, our evening meal, holding hands and thinking, what are we grateful for today? And it’s not just about the sunny weather, but it might be that I have a car that allows me to get from A to B without failure. They can be found in the little things, but also in the big things as well.

4. What makes you smile?

It’s a little bit related to the earlier questions, but a bit different. Maybe this is something that made you smile. Maybe it’s a question. Maybe it’s the fact that you found this t-shirt, but this is something that’s really worth considering. When did you last smile? Now that may be putting a little bit of pressure on, well, when was the last time? So that’s why it’s like, what makes you smile can be a really more powerful question for you.

5. Name a favourite place

It could be within your home. It could be in your suburb, your country, part of the world. Maybe it’s inside your head. Maybe there’s a particular place that you bring yourself to, your being to, and it doesn’t matter where physically you are situated.

6. What excites you?

Another three-word question. What are you getting excited about? Maybe it’s an anniversary coming up, or there’s a football game, or you’ve got a particular challenge or an exam, or who knows, a birthday, or that you’re going to meet somebody. I know that’s a really powerful tool when people are stuck or homesick or wonder what they’re going to be doing or if they’re feeling unsure of themselves is give them something to look forward to.

So a question like what excites you might start to think about the next time they could actually meet that level of feeling, that level of excitement.

7. Name your favourite app

This one brings us straight into the 21st century. Name your favourite app. And that can be really enlightening. My guess is a lot of people have a lot of apps, and so they’re going to choose the one that perhaps reveals only that little bit of themselves that they’re willing to share.

You know, maybe that app that they really do use a lot, but they don’t want to share it because it may look a bit weird. That’s probably not the one they’re going to talk about. So name a favourite app doesn’t say it has to be their most favourite or their most used.

So notice the way in which I’ve used the words here.

8. What motivates you?

What is your greatest motivation? Maybe it’s you. Maybe it’s built-in. Maybe it’s your drive, your fuel. Maybe it’s a goal. Maybe it’s your family. Maybe it’s something else, some level of competition. What motivates you is a great question to ask.

Okay, we’re down to our last two now.

9. Describe a favourite memory

Pull out your phone. That might actually trigger some of those memories, but just simply sitting there and thinking, okay, what would be a favourite memory? Now, most people are going to have lots and lots and lots of memories. Again, from an icebreaking perspective, encourage people to find something they’re willing to share. They’re only going to want to do that anyway.

But when you, again, you don’t say, what is your favourite memory? You could chose to ask about a favourite movie, a favourite memory. Maybe this movie is your favourite memory, but favourite memory means you’ve got lots and lots of choices to choose from.

10. Describe a recent adventure

Now, we’re talking about adventure in its purest form. I would often say this when I’ve asked this question to actually give the definition of adventure, because for many people, they think of jumping out of planes or rock climbing or whitewater rafting.

They’re all great adventures and examples thereof, but adventure in its purest form is “unanticipated outcomes” –  an unanticipated outcome. So when you think about something you weren’t too sure what was about to happen, that’s an adventure.

You know, maybe you started a course of study or you met someone for the very first time and you started a new job or you went out on a date or you just got married. They’re all examples of adventure. So describe a recent adventure or a favourite adventure.

More Reading

If you like what you’ve learned here, then I encourage you to check out the following articles:

• Why your icebreakers don’t work (and how to fix them?)
• What makes an icebreaker and icebreaker?
• 10 of the Best icebreaker questions
• The best icebreaker games